My Cart

Close

Catherine // Such is Life

Catherine // Such is Life
Posted on

Recently, I unearthed the password to my high school self. Do you know Livejournal? For the first time in twelve years, I remembered it. The platform was abandoned en masse years ago; it’s amazing the website’s still up at all. Anyway, I logged in to the journal I kept there for five years as a teen. Clicking through random calendar days, I had a strange sensation. It was like reading someone else’s diary. I saw the person I was at sixteen through a frosted glass door; the silhouette discernible but the real person, in all their detail and complexity, obscured, trapped, lost. My own memories felt received rather than lived.

I fell in love with analogue journaling for two reasons. First is a fierce love of paper, ink, and texture. No surprise there. I’m a comics author-artist (I write and draw my own stories) and freelance illustrator who works in traditional media by preference. It’s deeply satisfying to create from a point halfway between control over and knowledge of my tools versus the unpredictable, spontaneous nature of watercolor and ink.

The second reason I’m drawn to analogue: a fear of forgetting and being forgotten, like the self that can disappear with one lost login, one shuttered web domain. I don’t get this existential every time I sit down to journal. And it’s not that I don’t enjoy and appreciate digital tools.

"It’s just that the scratch of pen nib on paper unquestionably and definitively makes me feel more real."




As long as I can remember, I’ve kept a diary in some form. Only two years ago did I start organizing and recording in a Traveler’s Notebook as a daily practice, when my partner took me to Baum-Kuchen’s event at the ACE Hotel. As soon as I started using my Camel TN, I felt a freeness and ease to the format. Clearing headspace this way is so important because as a freelancer I can all too easily get overwhelmed and lose track of my schedule, or worse, my enjoyment of life. “I am more than the money I make, more than the list of things I’ve yet to achieve.” It was a surprisingly hard lesson to learn. But it’s a lesson affirmed every time I flip through my weekly to see steady progress alongside moments of celebration. Writing by hand, I can interpret each day’s value on my own terms.

Here are the books that help me breathe:

+ Traveler’s Notebook Regular Camel

I consult this every day. It’s used for everything from scheduling work, appointments, and dates to remembering jokes and copying down eerily accurate horoscopes. It’s also my part-time wallet and an on-the-go sketchbook, perfect for drawing or writing observations during lectures or long trips.

The cover is customized with stamps and a stitched leather pocket (awesome for tickets, documents, and ephemera). It wears a Le Petit Prince charm--one of my favorite books. I’ve kept Little Prince-themed planners for several years, so at this point, it’s a tradition.




+ Traveler’s Notebook Passport Blue

For journaling with light pockets. On-the-go observational drawings, quotes, phrases, poetry, and prose go here. To inspire my writing, I’m getting titles of favorite works of literature embossed on the cover. I’ve got HOWL by Allen Ginsberg so far. Inside I keep a TSL x BK Travel for Life Wallet. A gift from my partner, it’s stamped with “14”, our lucky number and anniversary date.





+ Hobonichi 5-Year Techo (2019-2023)

The newest addition, bought to commemorate a new chapter in my life: as a published comics author! You’re only a debut once, so I want to mark this time well. The tiny space granted to each entry makes me carefully consider what to carry forward each day. As someone who tends to write TOO much, I feel like this journal is a brutal exercise in honing skills of self-evaluation, honesty, and appreciation. Four different “me”s of the future are watching, after all...no pressure.


The other “lung” vital to my analogue system is made up of my sketchbooks, too numerous to list here. I reserve one large sketchbook for concept art and research for my graphic novel. There’s also a Moleskine-like book designed by my partner, which I use to draft proposals, pitches, emails, social media posts, etc. (seeing the weird tigers Emil drew on the cover makes me less reluctant to deal with the businesslike tasks inside lol). But the majority of my sketchbooks are a total hodgepodge.

 



Maybe it’s because I arrange and fill little boxes on a page for a living, but my natural tendency is to draw from corner to corner on compositions and use lots of lines. It’s an effort to simplify. Sketching from life is great for that, especially ephemeral subjects in constant motion like birds, people or the view out of a plane/bus/train window.

"You only have so much time to look and determine what’s important. Such is life." 
I’m really happy when I manage to capture the essence of such things.

 


Still, I keep going back to inventing characters and drawing structured, elaborate things like architecture, airplanes, plants and historical clothing. It’s just so fun to get lost in the details. This carries over to my journaling style too. No matter how much I try to limit the papers I keep or pare down a layout or a spread, I still end up with journals fat with paper and layers of material. Such is life!


There’s something I try to keep in mind when I make a mistake while creating. You can make a bad drawing. But you can’t make a drawing that’s bad for you. Overall, I think my analogue journey has taught me to be more aware and forgiving, too. Writing (or drawing) by hand with any honesty forces you to confront failures. Especially when using ink, there’s a sense of committing to the mark you make, intended or not.


"Pen blots, unfulfilled plans, things I wish I hadn’t said, done or experienced, all stay visible when written on paper. But that makes it possible to react to and hopefully grow from them."
I think of the sketchbooks and notebooks I fill up as paper homes, places of total comfort and freedom - the freedom to make mistakes, work on my craft, chase dreams, make plans and remind myself of who I am and what I love. Paper doesn’t last forever, but its memory persists.
"A year from now, or five, or twelve, what a joy it will be to open up these books, like doors, to meet again a self that is certainly past, yet has been present all along. No password required."

You can find Catherine at:

Website: blueludebar.com


BK Products mentioned or shown in Catherine's story:
Travelers Notebook - Camel
Travelers Notebook - Blue Passport
Lamy White Pen
TN Archive Binder
Tools to Live By Binder Clips (currently sold out)
BK Truly Yours - TN Customization (please email karma@baum-kuchen.net)

3 comments

  • Denise: April 15, 2019

    This was a fabulously enjoyable post. My eye immediately went to Le Petit Prince which, in French and English, has been an all-time favorite of mine for decades. But I’m always fascinated by the artist, the wordsmith, the pragmatist, the journalist and the way they all use these BK materials. I’m a closet inquisitor, always engaged by what someone carries, gathers and uses. Your artistic gift is superior, and I love reading about your reasons for using analogue, as well as what you include.

  • Eden (Mom): March 12, 2019

    Thank you for sharing something that is so personal. And, thank you for the inspiration. You and your work are truly beautiful!! It’s a privilege to know you and I feel so blessed that you are part of our family! Mom

  • Ljmasty: March 12, 2019

    Thank you so much for this curl-up-with-tea-and-my-kitty kind of post. I loved every last word and hope there’s more to come!

    Also I want the emblem on your passport TN under the HOWL embossing. Is that from Baum-Kuchen?!!!!

Leave a comment

All blog comments are checked prior to publishing

Hello You!

Join our mailing list