This might or might not be surprising to you, but I used to be in the spectrum of workaholics. Through design school years, working long hours late into the evening was very common. Perhaps even celebrated. After all, there was always more to do no matter how much I got done. Then I started working professionally and carried the mentality of a borderline workaholic. Through my 20’s, I felt the need to prove myself as a functional, independent, and professional adult. Thank goodness I was still young, and I was able to withstand the lifestyle while it lasted. Then Satchi came along 11 years ago, and I had my first opportunity to reassess my relationship with how I worked. I wanted to be a present parent while I pursued my passion. Around the time, I started BK and created boundaries where my work of BK would align with my value as a mom. I still pushed myself and poured my heart and soul during her nap and after her bedtime, but I also made sure to get enough rest in between to be fully awake when I was with her. I knew instinctively that BK’s energy mirrored our energy as a family. If my family life were suffering, the stories I shared at Baum-kuchen would not have been authentic and genuine. That was my first wake-up call for the work/life relationship.
Recently, I had another “aha” moment when I was working by our backyard pond. I was in the middle of my task, looked up, and happened to see a small bird bathing in the pond. Our chickens were grazing happily. Mango next to my chair. It was such a sweet sight, so I kept watching it. That was when I realized that finding beauty in life was just as important or perhaps more important than getting things done. Being able to find magic in nature with subtle changes in color and movements, in everyday interaction with family and friends and time spent with them sharing meals and drinks, and in the quiet moment during the long pause all validated me from inside as a living human. It reassured me that I was breathing and experiencing the moment. It’s quite contrary to how checking off my list has always validated me externally as an effective business owner and functioning mom. I still have my list, and I probably always have some kind of list because it plays a role as a place of accountability to keep my gaze on the next step I need to take to reach a bigger goal. I just decided to no longer give the kind of power to the list in a way I used to.
I don’t know why it took me so long to figure this out, but I am grateful to embody the sparkles in my orderly moments and to hold space to appreciate.
Bk Artifacts Featured in the video: